"Just because I can't go to the parties doesn't mean I haven't convinced a few of the husbands that I was a lonely wife with no one at home to care for her. Don't worry about me."We chatted about other things for a while, then she said finally, "Well Phil, I've got to go, so tell me you'll come down and visit. I won't take no for an answer, and there are gals here who won't give it..." She trailed off suggestively.I was trapped; I did want to visit and I didn't have a good excuse not to. "I'll be there this weekend," I said finally, then we said goodbye. As I lay back on the sofa in the semi-darkness of twilight, I wondered if my lady friend was available on weekdays. Maybe just a quickie in a public place; that was sure to satisfy.*********My bags were stowed and we were sitting on the balcony watching the clouds roll before Becca said anything to me other than hello. It was early for liquor but she had a large glass of bourbon; she'd offered me some but I've never been a. There was a time I could have had anyone but after having Jimmy I was considered damaged goods. I never fucking wanted this life. I never fucking wanted to be a mother. I have paid for that mistake all these years raising him and he was now finishing high school eager to start college. Well I didn’t get the opportunity to earn my degree. Instead I was stuck raising a bastard that I regretted ever giving birth to. I was in his room when I discovered a condom under his mattress. I took out a pin and poked tiny holes through it. I was going to ruin his life just like he ruined mine! He was going to know what it was like for me, all the fucking sacrifices I made for this burden I called my son. I was just about to put the tainted condom back under his mattress when Jimmy walked in. He was shocked, screaming at me to explain myself. Well, I just told him the fucking truth. I yelled at him that he was a mistake and that I regretted the day he was born. He was furious! We argued back.
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