’ The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’ The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times.’ The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’ The young woman asked, ‘Will this cleanse me of my sins?’ The priest said, ‘No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.’Catholic Dog Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, ‘Father, my dog is dead ... Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?’Father Patrick replied, ‘I’m afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church ... But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.’Muldoon said, ‘I’ll go right away Father. Do ya’ think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?’Father Patrick exclaimed, ‘Sweet Mary,. ‘You better not,’ Leander said. He then let go of his hold on her, spreading his arms in a grand gesture of ceding control. ‘The floor is all yours, my lady.’ Slowly, Daphne grinned, leaning forward to plant a kiss on Leander’s mouth. One hour. She would enjoy every second of it. ***** Daphne lay awake on the bed, staring at the canopy. She was breathing hard. Leander was lying beside her, pretty much in the same shape she was in. There were no knocks on the door this time, but the lady felt something heavy and unsettling in the pit of her stomach. ‘Pressure,’ she thought, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. ‘Because Papa waits.’ She imagined herself getting the sermon of her life. The duke would be furious. She arrived the day before with Leander and his army, having left Elgeshore about a fortnight ago. Her father understood that she was tired from the journey, and so the duke postponed their meeting for one day. Today, she was supposed to finally have an exclusive.
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