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When they appeared in public black robes and spells of obscurement hid their features so that none could tell if the Tyrant was a man or woman or even if they were human. The Tyrant had ruled in Al Areth as long as anyone could remember, even the long lived sorcerers who made the city their home. Order, of a kind, was maintained by the Tyrant's personal army.The Akkadian waited in the shadows of an alley, his dark cloak wrapped around his body blending into the darkness. Some distance up the main street was the compound of the warlord Trimon. Even from this distance the assassin could make out at least four men on the flat roof armed with bows or crossbows, only their heads and shoulders visable above the parapet as they kept watch. Two more guards stood outside the main door, halting and searching all who entered. On the occasions that the Akkadian had seen the door open, more guards were on the other side, only unbarring and opening the thick door when those outside had cleared the. "It's a depilatory cream."My wife is Portuguese. I assumed she had mistranslated this as I had noidea what a depilatory cream was. I liked Portugal but I hated theirfolk dances. Every tune sounded the same and the women's dresses wereso much like a grandmother's dress. It just wasn't sexy like flamenco.Why didn't they dance to fado which was so much more beautiful?"What do I do with it?" I asked."Rub it on your chest, stomach, arms and legs using this spatula andthen call me."I went into the bathroom and rubbed this cream over myself. It wasgreen and smelt awful. After putting this cream all over myself I calledmy wife.She came into the bathroom and rubbed the cream over my back andbackside. I had to wait a few minutes before showering it off. It wasonly after I got out of the bath and dried myself off that I realisedwhat this meant."Hey Nelly, this cream's a woman's product!" Read what it says in the tube."It said veet for men."But I have no body hair left." I know, good isn't.
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