Barbara was insinuating that Cora had already found another man; I had to excuse myself quickly as I got up and ran to the washroom. Tears were welling up in my eyes before I even got there. I immediately went into one of the stalls where I was sure I would vomit, but after a few minutes past, I couldn't, so I washed my face and returned to the table."Barbara, is she planning on leaving me?" Truthfully, Steve, I don't know; but what prompted this meeting was you telling me Cora was on her way over to the club," she looked me in the face then looked down again. "Steve, I haven't seen Cora for the last month," she said sadly, before hitting me with the punch line, "nor have I seen Mark."God, never in my life had I felt the way I did at that moment. "You mean she's cheating on me?" I don't know," she quickly responded. "Honestly, but when you said she was coming over last night ... well, she never showed; neither did Mark."I hadn't even noticed the barmaid as she set our food down in. I’d love some high heeled clogs, some high heels mules, thigh boots, court shoes, wedge espadrilles. I don’t really want drag artist tarty. If I’m going to be ‘dressed’ I'm going to be stylish even if I have a face which betrays my very real maleness. When I'm pleasing myself, I don’t care. If I acquire a kindred spirit, be they male or female, all the better. I'm going to instal a steam room and sauna, a small multi-gym, and have taken advice on diet, cut down the drinking and looked into way and means of ‘feminising’ myself in a subtle way. In no way do I wish to trans. I don’t want boobs, I don’t want to lose my cock, I don’t want to lose my sex drive. I wish to enjoy having an open mind on matters sexual once again and indulge myself. I wish to dress as I please. I do not wish to have a miserable lonely life into old age. Now times have changed so, being a wee bit “on the wild side” is no longer so strange or dangerous. Indeed it has become a fashion. I feel free to enjoy.
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