I reminisced the memory and recalled a day at my grandparent's house. I was a little drunk and making fun of something, but I couldn't remember exactly what it was. The part I remember absolutely happening was very vivid, however.I remember going into the bathroom with a Sharpie marker, taking my shirt off, and drawing some silly design to further my ridicule of whatever the issue at hand had been. I wish I knew what led to that decision, but it really doesn't matter that much. What matters is I was playfully attempting a somewhat absurd exhibit of writing on my chest to argue for my point or against theirs. It didn't work out as I anticipated, though. I walked out of the bathroom, grinning stupidly as I approached the dining room table where my mom, dad, grandma, aunt, and cousin sat chatting. As I got nearby, my mom half shrieked/half whispered my name in terror, and everyone immediately focused on me as I stood there confused. "Turn around and cover up!" she whispered to me, her. . When I said I love you... I really do love you. Not just as my sister. But... in a way that... I love you with all my heart, Carrie. Deeply, like a man loves a woman. Why do you think I’ve never had a girlfriend? I’ve never dated. You’ve been my first... everything. The things we’ve done in the last week, it’s all been my first. I’m so fuckin madly in love with you, I can’t see straight. I’m sorry, but that’s how I feel and I can’t help it.”She sat back down on my bed and took my hand.“Fuck, Jack... I... I never knew... I mean, how could I know... FUCK!”“What?”“You just... you just have a way of fucking up my world.” She stormed out of my room.Well now, I felt like shit. I didn’t know why but I did. I laid in bed, still naked, my mind racing, analyzing what had just happened and what I had been feeling the last couple of years. I came to the realization that my anger and now, control, was because I had been in love with her and she not only didn’t return the feelings but also.
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