'If only we had caught it earlier' her Doctor told me, 'then maybe we could have done something, ' he had added. 'Fuck you too Doc' I had thought as I watched Julie fade before my eyes, months of pain finally culminating in a horrible death, her youngest daughter, a high school senior, suffering silently as her Mom slowly disappeared.John Jr.'s birth in August had lifted us all, given us a reprieve from our sorrow, an opportunity to believe in life again. But his Dad had already left for Iraq before his son's birth and the nightly visions of death and mayhem we saw on CNN gave us all a forbidding chill.And then Dani! She'd always been the true innocent, someone who was always happy and smiling and kind and helpful and sweet; simply put she was the best of us, the person we all tried to secretly emulate. Just seeing her smile of approval, or her happy laugh produced by something we did, was enough to make your day, and even though the youngest in the family, somehow it was she who was. But he had flowers. Mel had sent them to himlast week. But then, he wasn?t a man anymore. He was nothing but a bigsissy.?Hey Chad. Ready??He glanced up to see Robin at the entrance to his cubicle. ?Ready forwhat???For break, dummy.??Oh.? He got up from his chair, took a moment to adjust his dress, andfollowed her out. He was halfway up the hallway before he even realizedthat he hadn?t given not going with her a second thought. Oh well. Hewould have only wound up going anyway.The break room was getting crowded as they entered. He had to stand ina fairly long line behind Robin, waiting to get his coffee. Coffee thathe knew he didn?t need, or even want to drink. It would be even moreliquid in his system that he would have to get rid of. Maybe he couldjust pretend to sip on it and not really drink much.He finally got to grab a cup and fill it. He turned away from thecoffee to follow Robin. He looked up at where he was going, and lockedeyes with Derek who had just joined.
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