‘You made quite a fuss about your briefcase until my wife promised to lock it in her desk. Being who we are, Sarah and Michelle – that’s my wife – brought your case home. If you know how to do it, it’s dead easy to open those combination locks, and we found your diary. After that it was important to get you to join our circle…..’cos everything you’ve written about, we do, all three of us. The girls would love it for another man to join in. Understand?’For an answer Colin glanced pointedly at his genitals, once again erect, the rubber slithering against him. ‘I…I think I do.’ He shook his head. ‘I’m sorry, but it’s just so…so wonderful.’‘You won’t be leaving?’ Doreen asked.‘Not ‘til I have to,’ Colin replied with a cheeky grin. He glanced at the clock again. ‘What happens now? They’ll be home in half an hour.’‘Which is just enough time to get you ready to meet them. Shall we give them a surprise?’‘A surprise?’ Colin sounded hesitant. He’d had quite enough surprises for one day.‘In. And the Fart blew the waters of the earth together unto one place, leaving dry land for God to rest his beer on. (Incidentally, a less well known consequence of this holy hurricane was that it caused Lucifer, God's favorite angel, to quit his post as God's errand boy, and flee as far from Heaven as possible.)And God said, Let the Earth bring forth trees bearing fruit, plants bearing pollen, and other green life. And the Lord God sneezed and saw that, hayfever excluded, it was pretty damn good for a first try. And God said, in a hoarse beer-befuddled slur, the trees and plants are catchy, but they are not quite enough. I'll make some animals; some who can eat the plants, and others who can eat the first group, and all can urinate on the trees and plants. And he saw that it was all rather asinine, but who cares? After all, he was God, wasn't he? What is omnipotence good for if the almighty can't enjoy a few jokes?And God said, So what do I do for an encore? Maybe I will make an animal.
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