She is gone now, though not forever. The prospect of a reunion almost makes distance unbearable. If it were written that we would never be together, if there were a complete and irrevocable break, then perhaps the sharp pain below the surface of my self would ease, would turn to a dull discomfort, and eventually fade. But there is no break, there is not even a slight tear in the fabric of our connection. And so the pain is harsh, irregular, erratic in magnitude and measure. The slightest sensation can be its trigger-an image, a scent, a touch, real or imagined. Even my most buoyant of moods is subject to the quick stab of memory, like a slap across the face. Nights and mornings-the worst times for distant lovers. I lie in bed in the evening, unable to sleep. The evening drifts into the early hours of morning, which bear witness to my fits and starts. These are the times for melancholy, when the expense of a day’s energy has worn me down, and left me only able to reflect, and lapse. People like George didn’t connect working nine-to-five with having food on the table the way her family did. Was she supposed to be the one adult in the USA who didn’t know that there was a draft on? They watched the nightly news together.Anyway, he would be leaving Boston, leaving the USA if his job prospects in Canada came through. Did she want to go with him? And keep getting this spoiling? For that matter, she’d trade her teaching career just to get the sex. Did he want her? Well, she’d find out.And she had a lot of money saved up. She put out half their joint expenses, and got a little more money busting her ass in school every day than he got from his trust fund. She had car expenses and spent more on clothes than he did, but he paid tuition. He also paid restaurant bills when he took her out. So, she couldn’t spend more of her money on rent, food, etc. than he could afford to spend of his.Of course, next year, he would be getting a salary instead of paying tuition. She’d be.
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