How are you managing, over there?" Good, son. It's all good. Can you put your mother back on the line?" Guess what, Dad. I did like you said, and helped Mom out around the house."Mom's eyes got big when I said that, and she took a big sip of her wine, but I followed up by saying, "I have to say, Dad, it did help get my mind off of things." Great. Now, put your mom back on the phone." And you know what, Dad? I think I'm up for helping her out some more, right now." With that, I hung up the phone."Did you just hang up on him?" I did," I said, as I quickly leaned over and kissed her, hard.Mom pushed on my chest while making some panicked moaning sounds, but quickly relaxed as my tongue slipped past her lips.Her arms falteringly went over my shoulders, as I motioned her body back onto the sofa while I rested my weight on top of hers."Oh, Cory... We shouldn't be doing this right now," Mom sighed when the kiss broke.But I playfully kissed her neck while I brushed, squished, and tweaked her. " What about that eye patch?" Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye." You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."And the pirate replied,"It was my first day with the hook."This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.What makes life 100%?If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Zis represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Then:K N O W L E D G E11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%H A R D W O R K8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%But,A T T I T U D E1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%And,B U L L S H I T2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%So, it stands to reason that knowledge and hard work will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit.
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