‘Where’s Jonathan?’ My mother’s eyes filled with tears, ‘He’s gone honey.’ ‘Noooo!’ ‘I’m so sorry baby girl, he was killed on impact. He didn’t suffer.’ I rolled my head to the side and stared at the wall, unable to speak. I wanted to die too. I wanted to be with Jonathan. Tears flowed down my cheek, while Mom continued to hold my hand and cry with me. —————– Slowly but surely I grew stronger each day, but my heart felt broken. I didn’t get to attend Jonathans funeral, so it still didn’t seem real to me. After extensive physical therapy on my left arm, that was shattered and pinned, I began to resume some function. Six months later I was as good as I would ever be. The head injuries left no permanent damage but my arm would never be the same. Scars covered my forearm where I apparently held up my arm to shield myself from impact, as well as the scar from the pins they used to save it. It was bad enough losing Jonathan, but ever time I looked at my arm it was a constant reminded of. I was told my mom wanted to name me that, unfortunately I don’t remember her. She died when I was just over one year old. My dad had little to do with raising me and not cause he did not want to, but cause he did not know how to but he made sure he had all the help he needed from his four sister in laws/ my aunts. They had little say in it as my dad was the eldest of the five brothers. So this meant that there was always enough female presence in our house. We were not exactly a joint family my aunts would come and go as needed, but then there was my sister Prerna. She is three years older to me. She remembers mom, in fact she was the one who insisted I was named Swaroop as that is what my mom used to call me when I was in the womb. I and my sister are poles-apart and she is happy being the pretty, popular girl in town with her army of friends and hordes of admirers. I’m the silent loner who has no friends and most kids my age are afraid to talk to me because I’m much bigger than.
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