I wondered ifshe'd really never danced before, how many nights, how many times, droppedby the front door, ended with a wave good-bye, how many with a -- no,let's not think of that, just yet. I glanced down, demure, as if therewere a pair of eyes, a gaze, I did not want to catch, a saw a little stripof lace peek out beneath my hem. I sighed and tugged, and thought she'snot the slickest girl I'd ever met.A small town girl, I knew I'd got that right. Small town, like mine. Itcoddles you, protects. A safe place, nice place, good folks. Too nicesometimes to know the way things really work: Take Mrs. Gentry, if youwill. Has she a clue? A small thing's big, in a small town; a note atschool, a book bag carried, a dance without an invitation. A sense there'ssomething else out there, beyond the town's closed-in horizon.A small town girl, a small time plan. An office job, respectable, away butnot too far: the city up the highway's fine. Meet someone, settle down. Asnuggle on the couch, arms in. The love I shared with Zoe and Kylie was irreplaceable, no amount of meaningless sex could make up for the true feeling of love. Subsequently, my grades began to drop. I was a proud B+ student before my fall into darkness, but since I had forsaken myself I was scraping the barrel for a C. But I didn’t care, I exchanged my former values and persona for a façade which made me look like a happy man in front of Kylie and Zoe. I didn’t know if they saw through me, but part of me wished that they would pull me up from the darkness I had fallen into. Two months after we broke up, I saw Kylie at a party. In resentment of myself I drank well in excess of my capacity and found myself keeled over outside as my body rejected the alcohol I had poisoned myself with. Kylie saw me and gained the courage to walk over to me. As I lay there pathetically curled on my side with sickness scattered around me, Kylie stood before me and said nothing. I looked up in my drunken gaze and saw her crying. Before.
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