Figure out what they do. And then, once you've figured it out, you can ask them to stop. And, if they won't, you can show them the cuts on your arm." You're so mean," I said. "Just sitting there with your, your fucking soda, telling me what to do. It's like, 'Oh, it's easy, it's all just a matter of... ' And it's not, it's hard. Don't you have feelings? don't you care?"I swiped at my eyes. Damn. Didn't mean to cry.He looked at me with his distant, expressionless face—so cold, that face, so frigid in its immobility—and something changed there, like a lock had been removed and he could show emotion again. "Yes," he said. "I do care. I wouldn't be telling you if not." He sighed. "Arie, you're a friend. I don't like seeing friends in pain like you are. Yeah, maybe it'll be more pain to change something, but... Isn't that worth it? A few moments of a lot of pain, traded for, God, I dunno, years and years of not-pain? Isn't that worth something?"And when he got no answer aside from the. We bought a computer and I would surf the net for hours after I cleanedthe house. The TV, transsexual, crossdresser sights caught my eye and Ithen was obsessed with going on line every day to see new girls, chatwith others and get off watching movies and looking at pictures. I woulddress quickly in the morning, do my chores very fast and then spend mostof the day surfing. It was a new thrill that seemed to satisfy me fornow. Purchasing some things I needed for Trina was easy and I now hadall the basics for myself including hip pads, breast forms, bras, gaffs,corsets and all sorts of other things. Trina was getting to be a hottieas I perfected my look. I made quite a few friendships with other girls and took the plunge. Iput some pictures on the sights and wow did I get even more responses.It took every minute I had to respond and check all my sites. Mymannerisms while doing chores and being Trina on line made it difficultfor me to break away at night when Melissa came home. She even.
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