I think I feel different, but Helen doesn't think Iam." It doesn't matter what Helen thinks. If you feel you are different thenyou are, but is the difference enough for you?"This is difficult. How can I say what I feel if it ruins Helen's lovefor me? Would Helen still love me if I was a male David? Andy toldHelen to give me space to learn who I was. If I tried to be moremasculine would she remember what Andy said? Was she doing this becauseof her chat with Andy?"I don't know," I answered, not really knowing how I was going to saythis. "I don't know what it is to be feminine or masculine. All I'veever done is be myself. Before the Paris trip, I had to have lessons towalk in heels, but any girl has to learn that; it wasn't a sign I wasless feminine. I want to be David. I want to be a good husband,hopefully to Helen. Perhaps one day a father. But I don't know if I canwhen people keep thinking I'm a girl." On Sunday, why did you pretend to be a girl when the waitress. ." I got her twice, too!" Russell replied. "Make sure we git all the shot out 'fore we eat 'er." What'd'ya suppose she is?" Jed asked. "Ever seen anything like 'er before?" Nope, not in real life," Russell replied. "But, there's pitchers of winged things like her in a book Pa had. She's like some kind 'a demon straight outta hell!" Think it's safe ta eat 'er?" Jed asked. "If she's from Hell, her meat might be poison..." Well, we can feed part of her to the dog, reckon," Russell said thoughtfully. "Then if he don die, we'll eat 'er!" Good thinkin'!" Jed agreed. "Hate t' see good meat go t' waste! Here – it's yer turn t' carry 'er!"Jed rolled the limp form down off his shoulder and onto the ground in front of him."Didn't bleed very much," Jed observed. "Fact, I can't even tell where I shot 'er!" Weird!" Russell observed, thoughtfully wiping sweat off his forehead. "Look! She's breathin'! She ain't dead yet!" Better shoot 'er agin!" Jed yelped. "Don't want no angry demon swarmin' all.
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