I would later, but not then.“I’m okay,” I said, as I realized he was trying to help me up. “It was a little overwhelming when you let go.”“Keeping the wall there is easy, but keeping things from going through it is hard,” he said.“Do you ever feel what I’m feeling?” I asked.“I did last night, when we were kissing, but that’s all.”“Not even when you saw me have those orgasms?”“I saw your colors then, but I didn’t feel anything. This feeling stuff is all new.”“As is me, feeling you,” I said. “It might have been hard, but it worked. I didn’t feel very much at all while you were trying to hide it.”“Good,” he said. “If this is like other things, it will get easier, eventually.”We had supper and it was still early, so we both read. We were able to get books at the Goodwill store, and the selection was surprisingly wide.We read in bed ... in our new bed. We kept our clothes on and his wall worked.Then it was time to go to sleep.I decided he’d had to hide enough, and told him he could sleep. Dr. Zaaijer would exploit her into thinking its better to be a strong manthan a scared little girl.Alisa was the only strong one in the family. She wanted to be in charge.Dr. Zaaijer surmised that it was probably because of how she grew up, buthe really didn't care about that. Dr. Zaaijer would exploit the woman'sdenial to keep her in the dark as her family changed around her. Then hewould use the hidden desire all women had (or so Dr. Zaaijer thought) tomake her want to be a stay at home mom who was happy to let her husbandtake care of everything.Jack was a man who never grew up who had an addictive personality. Justa boy who wanted to play and avoid responsibility. He was happy when hefound a strong woman like Alisa. Let her worry about making money whatdid he care. Dr. Zaaijer would return him to the time when he didn'thave much responsibility. He needed to grow up again, but this time hewould do so as a girl. This would be best for him. He would grow up tobe a woman like.
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