He was sitting on the couch in the lounge , watching football. Why are you dressed up? He asked when he saw me. You said you had something planned for Our anniversary…dont you? I asked, nervous to hear the answer. I ordered from the Golden Mirage. I thought wed just have a quiet night he said, his eyes turning back to the Television. I found myself clenching my fists. Were having indian…on our anniversary? I asked trying to contain my anger. God! Said Troy standing up angrily and staring at me with contempt what do you want with me?! Youre always fucking pissed no matter what I do! He yelled Well maybe, just maybe, if you paid attention to your fucking wife who wants your attention, she wouldnt be pissed at you! I yelled back furiously. He paused for a moment, shocked at my outburst. You know what? Fuck this and you! He walked over to the bench near the front door and grabbed the keys Im going for a while I laughed almost insanely Fuck me you say? Well Ill probably have to fuck. I cried with her. I cried for a different reason than Ruth. I cried fearing that I had lost my love. Ruth cried because of their tender love. When we finished drying our tears, the sun started to again shine in upon my soul. Patiently she affirmed that what happened at the party would not destroy the love expressed in the letters. She repeatedly stated she knew Ken, and if she was right, he would be filled with compassion not anger. It became a note of hope to which I now cling. Tuesday before I left for the school I gave her my diary. I insisted I needed her to read the diary as I had done a terrible thing. She said she would read it and we would talk further. I think that I gave it to her because in some strange way I was connecting what happened Friday as a type of punishment. When I entered the house last night I was ready to listen to her condemnation and to being brought back to reality, whatever reality is. I found a different atmosphere. Ruth told me to relax as she.
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