This was what I needed. I forced myself to keep at it. I felt that exertion. Oh, yes, it blazed through my muscles. The perfect cure for deviant thoughts. I channeled all that sexual frustration into climbing. Stepping.“Uh, you okay, Mom?” Melinda asked as she swept by in her nightgown.“Yep,” I lied and clapped my hands together like the perky blonde did on the TV.“I was only joking about you having a fat bottom,” she said as she headed into the kitchen. “You don’t want to overdo it.”“Fine,” I panted. It took too much breath to say more.Step up. Step down. Up. Down. Feel that burn. Don’t think about cocks. I hurt too much to think about cocks.Melinda headed by with a bowl of vanilla ice cream and strawberry syrup. She shook her head as she vanished upstairs. I was on day three. My legs were a mass of burning pain. Glorious agony. No thinking about cocks.By day four, I couldn’t move any longer. I stumbled back, fell on the couch, and lay there in groaning pain. My joints hurt. Every. I didn't want to fuck them, they fucked me. The Bible was clear that man had been blessed to "reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals", but when I was with my dad's dogs I actually felt like an animal. When they fucked me it was like I was a different person, a different species, not ordained by God to dominate these beasts but a weak and wanton creature destined to do their bidding. And that creature had no idea why a 13-year-old Becky Sullivan would even try to resist. In fact, the creature those dogs turned me into hated Becky Sullivan, a weak-willed human girl scared of her own shadow and ashamed of what her body needed. In that kennel, with those dogs, I felt a kind of primal joy I'd never even imagined had existed before.It wasn't like I didn't know how sick these nighttime sojourns were, though. In my hungover yet sexually sated mood the morning after fucking them that first time, I did some research. The Bible was very clear: "A woman must.
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