I gather my wits,relax my muscles, and look up. Your eyes are staring back at me. I am not dreaming anymore. I amafraid. You don't wait for me to change my mind. Scooping up my body into yourarms, you pause to cover me with a sheet against the cold. Oh, myGod...the things that are going over in my mind...all those lostconversations when I told you I would not be afraid, that I would do allthe things I had promised, that we could find a place to get lost...andhere, now, you are stealing me away from my life and I am afraid. Not ofyou, but of myself. My own dreams, urges, sensations...what I am cominghome to, IF I am coming home. I can't help it - in a fever of emotion, Icry. You have a car waiting, of course, sitting in the street behind myhouse, engine running. The driver nods as you enter the car with my nakedform in your arms. I want to speak, but I don't know what to say. Youdon't wait for me. "You don't want to come?" Wiping tears from my cheek. Your face. He was divorced and had loyalty issues. Plus, he was 19 years older than me, and my parents would not approve. I believe the forbidden nature of our age gap was something that enticed him, I know his age was in my mind a benefit. It made our relationship very exciting.My folks knew him casually from church, ironically, though he had quit going nearly a year and a half ago when his wife filed for divorce. What they definitely didn't, and couldn't, know was that months earlier the clothes I wore to work and the way I looked at him had made his erections harder and harder to hide. He had been alone for so long. I was trying to seduce him, I think subconsciously.I would sneak up on him, say flirty things, bend over when I shouldn't, etc... One night, when we were working late alone, I heard him filing and came around a corner. It was so typical, he spilled coffee on my top. The coffee was luke warm, but I let on that it was hot. His hands groped my chest and I quickly unbuttoned the top.
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