Until now, I thought I’d covered my incestuous desires pretty well.“Uh, I guess you probably did, now you mention it,” I admitted, feeling a shame I’d never felt before.She hugged me tight. “Don’t feel bad, Tom,” she whispered to me. “It made me feel closer to you.” Suddenly, I blurted, “I wanted to be even closer.”“Of course. Most boys’ first love and sexual trigger is his mother. Psychologists have studied it. Don’t be ashamed. Especially since it kind of turned me on too.”“Mom! You mean...” She laughed.“Yeah, from about the time you started high school, I kind of wanted my big strong son to take the next step, since I couldn’t bring myself to do it.I hadn’t had sex since shortly after your grampa stopped fucking me about a week before you were born, and I was missing it. Once you were born, he wanted to go back to it but I told him it wasn’t right.”I collapsed on the couch. Every time I managed to get a girl into the back seat of my old beater of a car in high school, I was making. I was a pro - but even with me still having feelings for Michael - I still felt like I could to the job. If that would make that up what I screwed up in the near past... Why the hell not? I looked at James and then back to Marcus. "Would you excuse us for a few minutes?" I asked. "Sure," he said got off his chair and moved closer to the stage to watch the dancers. "What are you doing?" James asked as soon as he was sure Marcus couldn't hear him anymore. "I thought you were not going to do this job anymore." I looked at him seriously without saying a single word. I broke the silence after a few moments: "James, that was always my job - it's well paid and I can't do anything else." That's my chance to get back in business." I don't want to run away from all this, James, just because I'm not getting along with it anymore." Marcus is giving me this one last chance - I could make everything up with that and then everything will be just alright and like it was again." James shook his head.
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