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Just what are you trying to find out?'The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything. She's married; so we can't go to her house. I'm married; and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and best of all ... Medicare pays $43 of it.This one is compliments of JerryYou Know You Are In A Redneck Church If... ... people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5,000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em. ... when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up. ... opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. ... A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." ... The congregation of 500 members only has seven last names in the church directory. ... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something. To complicate matters, Bob and I have had a real scare. We were breaking up a bar fight last night, and I didn't get out of the way of a swinging bowie knife fast enough. That damned knife blade caught me in my left arm pretty deeply, but not enough to do permanent damage. It was on the backswing, and only the first recurved part of the blade was sharp. It dragged a bit before cutting me, which was damned lucky. If it had been the full cutting edge the full length of the blade, I would probably have lost my arm!Bob went berserk when he saw the galoot try to cut me that way and started shooting. Bob put five bullets into the knife wielder's chest and would have put in more if he hadn't emptied his gun. As it was, he started to reload and shoot some more, but Omar stopped him before he had a chance to shoot any more.My arm hurt like hell, and the doctor had to sew me up after washing out the wound with some of that vile rotgut whiskey. That was the first time I ever got any good from.
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