Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.Better wait outside. Be right back.Cooter"These are compliments of Larry--A farmer had 3 lovely daughters, all who had dates on Friday night. One by one the local boys came by to pick them up.The first boy arrived and said: "Hi, I'm Eddie, I'm here for Betty, we're going steady, is she ready?"The farmer called Betty and she and Eddie went on their way.The second boy arrived and said: "Hi, I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to go?"The farmer called Flo and she and Joe went on their way.The third boy arrived in an old beat up pickup, came to the door and said: "Hi, I'm Chuck"The farmer shot him.A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains. Then I asked about meeting her in person. She said yes and we arranged to meet at a pub in town. The day before, she messaged me to say she had to work late and couldn't make the pub. I said it was fine and we could do it another time. The next message took me by surprise. She messaged me and said, "Why don't you just come to mine? You won't be disappointed." How could I say no to that? I replied with shaking hands, "Yes," got her address and told my wife I was going fishing with a friend that night. I don't get out much so the wife bought it.The next day went by uneventful until about 6 pm. I jumped in the shower and gave myself a good wash down, trimmed the hair, brushed my teeth good and made myself look good. At 9 pm I left the house with my fishing stuff and traveled into Edinburgh to sit for the few hours before Sam got home. I was very excited as this would be the first one in years that I could fuck. I dozzed off until my phone beeped to let know I have a message. It read, "I.
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