She had missed me and she, too, was often on my mind. She asked about the girls in Hong Kong. She said she knew me and that I wasn’t living like a monk. I told her there was no one special.She had cut her long hair and was wearing it in a short, fashionable bob. I told her I always loved her long hair. She told me she was a modern woman and that long hair wasn’t fashionable.She didn’t want to go to the townhouse. She said there was too many memories there. We spent several days at a downtown hotel. We went to movies and a play. She wanted to visit some clubs in the East Village. We avoided politics and I thought that the reunion was special.We continued to meet this way for the next several years. Her senior year, she told me she was seeing a guy. We had made love and where sharing a cigarette. She put it out in the ashtray. She told me she was in love with this guy. He was smart and wonderful. He had a very promising future. He knew about her past, just not all of it.She said she. "I bet you have more fun than that," she said. "Got a--friend?" No," I said, feeling embarrassed."Well, you just got here a few months ago."It hit me. Before I'd been thinking about making casual conversation with her and now we were doing just that! Not much help from me with my one-word answers. But it was almost like my fantasy. I felt my heart start to beat and realized I was considering taking a leap, a dangerous leap. I wondered if I could do it and live with myself.But something inside me said I had to. Such chances don't arise every day and this could be my only one. I did my best to calm myself without being obvious about it. "Can I ask you something?" I said, trying my best to be casual."Sure," she said readily, though she had to know I was preparing her for something."Do you ever..." I started, but found myself searching for words. "Has-- has your politics ever given you trouble with the idea of involving yourself romantically with a man?"I'd said it! And immediately hated.
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