Soon you’ll see things will work out for the three of us,’ she smiled knowingly. I held her tightly against me for a while. Then standing, I paced the room. ‘I have an idea.’ My head spun to her. ‘Oh yes? What can we possibly do about this? It can’t continue and yet how will I stop loving two women? Do I choose between you? Do I leave and make sure I never return? What? What’s your idea?’ I stopped in front of her. ‘We’ll move to America. Find somewhere to live where people are non-judgmental. Live together as a family, loving each other as we wish to love.’ As stupid a notion as it sounded, it held the answer to what I wanted. To what I’d been missing in my life. I hadn’t realised it until that moment. I wanted them both and I wanted to make love to them both. Life without them wouldn’t be worth existing in. But it wouldn’t be possible to live that way in my English country village. The racism would be too much to live with. There was a chance it would be possible in South Africa.. Most of the students were following it. That made them mentally passive and Jake did not have to fight through too much mind noise to pay attention. Jan made it entertaining, even a little dramatic as she put it in the context of the campaign to adopt the new constitution.She sat down when she finished.“You’ve still got fifteen minutes before the end of class. I’ll let you use that time to study for your finals.”You’re a rock star, Jake thought to her. You even make Madison interesting.That’s my chosen field you’re mocking, Mr. Fielding.I’m only mocking James Madison. You I admire.You’re a sweet boy. Let’s talk about your mother.I noticed that you told her that she’s submissive.Yes. She needs to come to grips with it quickly. You were right to be concerned about her vulnerability. You have to come to grips with it, too.We were talking about her submissiveness as a theory. Now you’re talking like it’s a sure thing.Ellen and I had a lot of time yesterday to explore her attitudes. I no.
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