After meeting, falling in love with and losing Jill, I lost the first event I was in.I guess I'd be able to talk to girls, which is something I had a hard time doing pre-Jill. But would I want to? Did I want to put my heart on the line again, only to have it broken, crushed as it was now? That was definitely something to think about. No problem there. If the past two days had taught me anything, it was that I have no problem thinking about things. My problem's NOT thinking about them.About this time I was called for my second event. The 400 meter freestyle. I wasn't up in the sky this time. I was right there inside my head, watching the guy in the lane next to me pull away. My turns went fine, thanks to the drilling I'd done. I could do those without thinking, without effort. It was just my swimming that sucked. I tried. I really tried. But it just seemed the harder I tried, the faster he went. It was as if my energy was affecting his speed, not mine. I lost by 3.2 seconds. The next. ‘Enough of this third degree,’ Heidi said. ‘Melanie, go get a bath and get dressed, we don’t want to be late for school.’ ‘OK, Mrs. Jackman,’ Melanie said. She stood up and left the room. ‘You were pretty tough on her,’ Heidi said once Melanie had gone upstairs. ‘She’s not telling the truth,’ Tim replied. ‘At least not all of it.’ ‘How can you say that?’ his wife asked, a bit upset. ‘Don’t you believe she was victimized and brutalized last night?’ ‘I believe that part,’ Tim said. ‘I’m not so sure she doesn’t know why it happened.’ ‘Tim!’ his wife said. ‘I’m surprised at you. I never expected you to turn into the kind of cop who believes rape victims are responsible for what happened to them.’ ‘That’s not what I’m saying,’ Tim replied. ‘All I said was that I think she knows a lot more than she’s willing to tell me.’ ‘What makes you say that?’ his wife asked. ‘What those guys did to her last night was an angry act,’ Tim explained. ‘The kind of thing somebody who’s really pissed at.
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