The next machine had a sign that read, "This machine provides a service men need when away from their wives, 50 cents."The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit ... which now had a button sewn neatly on the end.Stuttering ProblemA guy walks into his doctor's office and says, "Ddddoc, I've bbbeen sssttttuttering ffor yyears and III'm tired of it. Ccccan yyyou hehehelp mmme???"The doc says, "Well, I'll have to examine you first before I can answer you."The doc examines him and says, "Well, I'm pretty sure that I know what the problem is."The guy asks, "wwwell wwwhat is it, ddoc?"The doc says,"It's your penis. It's about about 18 inches long and all of the down pressure is putting a strain on. ” I squeaked, my voice barely audible. He made me look up at him, then he bent to my level, placed a hand on my shoulder, and looked me square in the eyes. “’Bout fucking time.” He whispered. “Do you know that every day for the two months, ever since you graduated, Luke’s been telling me, ‘I’m gonna marry that girl?’ Thank God he’s finally acting because if I’d heard that from him one more time, I would have shot him.” We both laughed, soprano and baritone in harmony. “Welcome to the family honey.” He hugged me tight. Luke walked out then, all dressed up in a suit and tie. That’s weird, he NEVER dresses up. Ever. He went straight to my car. “Babe, lemme get the keys.” I tossed them over and he got in, started the car up, then he honked. “Now get your sexy ass in the car.” He called. I kissed Dominic’s cheek and said goodbye then went to get in. We sped off, going twice the speed limit. “Where are you taking me?” I asked as I held on for dear life, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to be.
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