Wanted it more than anything. That’s why I was going to force it; tonight, by my own hand.Then, would you like to change the lives of those you hold dear?I hadn’t expected another message.The faces of the two women I lived with—my aunt and my younger sister—surfaced momentarily from the depths of my selfishness, but I closed my eyes to them.Aunt Riley was getting by just fine without my help, and Jessie—You’re running away from it.—was better off without a useless brother like me. I selected “no” again.There was no third prompt.Since I didn’t have anywhere in particular to go, I walked aimlessly around my small coastal Florida town of Navarre taking pictures of whatever happened to catch my attention. I’d like to say they were the best pictures I’d ever taken. To say that before my death a miracle occurred and I captured my last will and testament in photographic form.If miracles like that really occurred, maybe I wouldn’t have felt like running away.No, the pictures I took were as. JANET, wake up, wake up, Janet are you OK, John asked as he shook me. Oh I must have dozed off sorry, I replied in a sleepy state. My aunt told me you were in here and not feeling well, Come on let me take you home, John said as he scooped me off the leather sofa. No, I am OK you go back and enjoy yourself, with those girls hanging on you, I replied smartly. John said, Janet, I am not in the mood for that shit so just stop it, I said we were going home, as he wrapped his arm around me and damn near dragged me from his aunts house. It was a long quiet drive back to our apartment, neither of us saying a word. John pulled into our parking lot and he got out. He came over and he got me out of the car as well. He wrapped his arm around me as we walked up and into our apartment. John walked me to the bedroom where he undressed me and he put me into bed. I am sorry John, I said as I looked up at him from under the bed covers. I know Janet you just get some rest, I will join you in a.
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