"I can't do this anymore," Michael said to no one as he sat in his living room looking at the flashing red light on the answering machine.His partner kept calling him, wanting to know what he could do to help, wondering when he would be coming back to work.Michael shook his head and walked into the kitchen; opening the refrigerator he was not surprised to find it empty.Slumping into one of the chairs at the table littered with old mail, condolence cards and ancient Chinese food the tears began to flow again. It was hard to remember when he had been happy, when everyday was not just a swirling maelstrom of unyielding suffering.His strength had left him, his will had left him, all he wanted now was to be with Sasha and their child, to hold them and forget the pain.Walking up the stairs he passed by the nursery, it was done in neutral purples that would work for either a boy or a girl.Sasha and he had decided to let the sex be a surprise, he knew now from the autopsy; that the child who. If I pull your skirt up, leave it up. I hope my point is well made too?’ I tried to walk on but she held me fast, her eyes boring into me. I held her gaze but knew in my heart that she would win any battle of wills. ‘Yes, Lana.’ Her arm slipped out from mine and around my shoulders and she squeezed me which felt like she was saying well done and that I was forgiven. What the hell was the matter with me? There is a small pub in a village just outside the city and we went in there to have a glass of wine and dinner before returning home, well, to Lana’s home anyway. In the pub I sat beside Lana and as we all chatted I felt her hand slither up my leg and her finger brush over my pussy. She didn’t even look at me. We all ate salad, we didn’t need much more after our picnic. Lyn and Sophie went to the toilet together. Lana leant close to me. ‘You’ll learn, darling. Don’t worry – everyone makes mistakes at first.’ She kissed my ear. ‘Are you OK? I promise you you’ll enjoy.’ I nodded. Back.
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