My only escape seemed to be to fantasize about Kate, which I did often.My start of junior high in September was not the joyous occasion I had imagined. Kate lived on the other side of town and ended up at a different school. Although I was surrounded by more attractive young girls than I could imagine, I could not get Kate out of my mind. As I sat in class, I often found myself looking off to the right expecting to see her sitting there against the wall. I was like a lost puppy, with no one to follow around.Although I was without Kate, I didn't dare start a relationship with someone else. I simply didn't want to share the pain I was going through with anyone else. My internalizing my pain wasn't exactly doing me any good though. It was just that the infighting in my family was not something I wanted to expose anyone else to at this time. The problems at home only added to my insecurities I felt as an adolescent. I was really starting to reach a breaking point.I thought about Kate and. Maybe you can be with two of us next time.”I really felt self-conscious and guilty when he dropped me off on that corner, and it seemed like everyone was staring at me and knew what I had done. I felt somehow dirty, and I soaked in the bathtub when I got home, partly to help sooth my sore ass. The guilt soon passed, and the realization that I had made one hundred and fifty dollars in only an hour and a half made me happy. Then I thought about everything we did together, and I jerked off in the bathtub. I could hardly believe how much I enjoyed sucking his cock, and of course being sucked off, and being fucked in the ass was amazingly erotic. I even enjoyed being treated like a girl, and a whole new world had been opened to me. Finally, there was something positive about my feminine appearance, instead of it being a negative. It was only 5:00 pm when I got out of the bathtub, and I still had plenty of time to go online again before my parents got home. I tried to use what I learned.
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