I couldn't imagine my Gram going through this.What had happened, she explained, was that they had built their house tooclose to a testing site where they were setting off atomic bombs. That waswhat those booming noises were. But they didn't know that at the time. Sheonly found out later. But the desert winds blew radiation from the testingsite further than the military thought, onto their ranch, and it affectedboth of them, giving them cancer.It was very hard giving birth, even without being so sick. There was nodoctor around, so when the time came, Grampa had to roll up his sleevesand deliver the child himself. She pushed and pushed and pushed ("Pushedwhat?" I asked, but she said I'd know when I was older) and finally he washolding in his arms a pink little 8 lb baby girl. My mother."The look on his face when he first saw her..." she remembered, her eyesrelaxing into a reflective smile.But the joy was short-lived. He tried calling for help, but there wasnobody nearby. Giving birth. How she would wait until he turned his back in anger and frustration and then would steal the gloves tucked in the back of his belt and race off into the forest with him in hot pursuit. Though she was younger and faster he always caught her, wrestling with her among the ferns and moss. She remembered the moment it stopped being a game for her. The games gave way to something more. She no longer looked at him as only a father and teacher, but with the yearning of a young lover. He had noted her change in demeanor as well and slowly stopped engaging in the games of chase and their rough and tumble wrestling. One evening, while she snuggled in his lap before the fire in their little cottage, he began to speak softly to her. She could hear the strained emotion in his voice and felt the cold hand of fear slowly close about her heart. He spoke haltingly, his voice filled with sadness. His gray eyes were filled with tears when he told her it was finally time for him to go. He held her.
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