How could you not?” she said.“Ava, Marian and I get along. We’ve done a lot of talking this past couple of months. Like I say we get along. Her with her no tits. Me with my no dick. We don’t have anything worth mentioning. But I took her back. You wanna know why?” I said.“Okay,” she said.“Because there isn’t anyone else for us, any other man for her, and any other woman who would waste their time on a nothing freak like me. But, well, Marian is willing to do that.“The only woman, Ava, that I can ever really love is you. I know you know it and it kills me to see you with the other guy. And it kills me even more to think about you guys doing each other every night, and talking about me which I am sure you do a lot,” I said. “Tell me you don’t!”“Okay, we do talk about you sometimes, that’s true. But not as often as you might think, and never do we talk smack about you. Honestly,” she said. I was nodding.“Hmm,” I said.“Really, Julian, I am not snowing you, really. Frankly, I wouldn’t. Later, while she was in the shower, I went back down stairs and picked up the magazine and saw that it was turned to "Cluster Fucks" and the letter on the page had the heading, "He Loved It when His Wife Disappeared In An Ocean Of Black Bodies." As I read the title I remembered her saying "next time baby, I'll make it up to you" when she and Lois were doing the black guys. And when Lois had asked her if she wanted to get together with them again he had said, "Why not? Set it up." Was it possible that Cyndi was coming up with her own sexual hang-up, fucking blacks, and that maybe she could now understand my having a sexual hang-up too?It was Wednesday, Cyndi's regular gangbang day with Jerry and all the guys and all morning when the phone rang I grabbed it hoping to hear Cyndi say, "Guess what lover. Today is your lucky day," but it didn't happen. At eleven-thirty I called her and told her I would be working late again and then I told my secretary that I had to go see a client. On the.
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