It occurring to me that I'd never seen her completely naked. Marybeth noticed me squirming."It seems you're thinking of it too." Of course." Save it. For me?" Save? There's plenty." For me? Don't do it until we do it." OK." This would be a challenge. If I wasn't already going to make calls, I'd be going twice as fast. It took a little longer than I'd thought. First trying to find someone who might have a room I could use, and give us privacy and not tell them exactly why even though they'd know. I asked Freddie for some help. He asked more questions than I really wanted to answer, but he knew everyone, even guys not in our close neighborhood. Still, the questions..."So, you and Marybeth, finally?" What do you mean finally?" You know, it's been like two months, time to put the pecker to work, you know..." Freddie, if you weren't my best friend, I'd be more offended and would have punched your face by now. Dude, be cool. Marybeth isn't some 8th avenue slut." But you are now, aren't. What I remember most about her are her eyes. Huge, dark, wide open, unblinking, they looked at me, her huge dark eyes looked into mine, and I looked back at her, my whole body as immobile as she was, for the whole time that my father and I stayed with the Bey, or so it seems to me in my memory.Even then I understood that the Bey had made her a token not so much of his power, but of his spiritual sublimity, his elevation above the profanities of common human needs — he could afford, without missing something, without thinking twice, on a whim, to take away such a beautiful girl’s hands, mouth and vagina, to take away all her uses, to have his acceptance of her uselessness displayed. Only later did I understand that her suffering was her use for him. But even then, on this first visit, as our eyes locked, young as I was, I felt a strange stirring between my legs. I saw her only one more time, a few weeks later. I noticed the differences. She was still beautiful, but she had lost weight.
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