It helped me safely try out and observe a few aspects of being a woman but that was all.Between the physical me and the mental me, I was still divided. There was a division between mind and body which made anything we did only a play game.The next baby step, I could only take with the help of professionals. The first of these steps would be to again go into counseling. This time I needed someone more understanding and sympathetic to my intentions.My problem was that I was that woman in the mirror. However it had happened, I had been born with the wrong gender. She was what I should have been and what I had to be, to become whole and content with myself and my life. Anything less was insufficient.Playing the part, without the intentions of actually becoming what I needed to be, should have been, was only self-abuse. That is why, I perceived the young woman in Janice's mirror, to be mocking me.It's a difficult decision to make, to change one's life so entirely. For many an even harder. Now we have to hurry. 'Spit spot,'" I mimicked Julie Andrewsgetting the children ready to go to the park in the 'Mary Poppins'video.I pulled back the covers, revealing Jamie in her adorable jammies, andplayfully pushed her legs off of the mattress, pulling her into asitting position with my other hand. She looked at me sleepily. I lefther sitting on the edge of the bed while I got out her dressy whitenylon panties. She was going to wear a sundress, so she didn't needanything under the top. I went and helped her up."Undies off, quick like a bunny," I coaxed her.She slid the panties down and stepped out of them. I handed her theclean pair and picked up the ones she had worn, dropping them in herlaundry bin. I unzipped the back of the dress and held it for her tostep into, pulled it up, slipped it over her arms and zipped it up. Herwhite sandals without socks completed the outfit. I stood back toadmire her. She looked beautiful. Oh for goodness sake Ginny, you werein such a.
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