”“What do you mean?”“There aren’t too many situations that don’t turn creepy. Usually, as soon as I start to talk to an older guy, like I talked with you today, they get all creepy and leery. Like, immediately. Lewd innuendo. ‘You’re so hot, your boyfriend is a really lucky guy.’ Or, ‘You’re so pretty, I’m getting hard just talking to you.’ Shit like that. The attraction pretty much goes away at that point. Then I just feel like some piece for them to perv on. A hole they need to penetrate. Very yucky.”“Well, sexual desire or lust can turn a man’s brain against itself. Like some kind of autoimmune disease, a fever that shuts down reason or propriety or decorum or politeness. The need to address that lust almost feels like it’s out of your control, it’s making you do things or say things. You can feel yourself sprouting a tail and horns, but you can’t stop it.”“But you controlled it. Seemed so, anyway.”“Sort of. Not entirely. I got a little loose with my limbs there on the train,. Well, I had some obligations to Manny, but that was cool. That was a matter of courtesy and friendship. No one wanted anything from me right now, not my parents, not a boss, not a girlfriend, and I loved it.Manny went to his room and got changed. It was warm, so he threw on shorts and a t-shirt, which wasn't too different from what he'd worn to work—khakis and a cleaner t-shirt. But I knew how good it felt to make that switch from work to home, especially on Friday. Manny came back and grabbed a beer from the fridge."So, you want to hit the beach this weekend?" he asked."You bet. I can't believe I've been here all this time and I've only seen the beach, like, twice." That had been a letdown, but even without a boss or a girlfriend, there was stuff that needed my attention, like getting the car, buying groceries and other necessities. The weather hadn't been cooperative, either. Every time I'd been ready to hit the beach, there was rain. Not just showers that you could wait out; these.
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