For the longest time I couldn’t look at Danny or Jessie. I didn’t want them to know how much of a monster I was…still am.’ I stopped eating at his admission. ‘Did you tell them? Did you tell anyone?’ I asked. Matt pickedat his food. ‘I told Duncan, but I haven’t told Danny or Jessie. That scene you witnessed is them feeling guilty because they’re back together and I’m still single.’ He looked up at me and gave me a sad smile. ‘I was on a mission to get married. I still am, but I’m trying to be smart about it. Think before I speak.’ A man who actually wanted to get married baffled me. Yet that wasn’t what I should center on. There was his guilt. He should tell Danny and Jessie about the incident if he wanted to feel good about himself. Get things off his chest. I looked over at Duncan and Tessa. He had a proprietary arm around her and she had eyes only for him. Maybe purging himself of his guilt would allow Matt to find someone to make him happy. Then he could have a marriage like. I knew I could never let him know though, the teasing and threats would only worsen, I was sure. I embraced my role, finding that I loved him using me, finding that I loved to pleasure him, found that I loved being “girly.” Although, I didn’t want to be a girl, I enjoyed the thought of acting like one. I had began to steal my older sisters panties, the more feminine and girly the better. I found that I felt incredibly sexy and wonderful when I wore them. I would hide them inside my jeans when I thought that boy might come calling for more. Although, I didn’t dare show them or let him know or show how much I enjoyed it all.I dreamed of meeting someone that I could explore with. Someone who would not judge, someone to share my lusts and cravings with. That someone soon showed up...He was a little older than the other boy, but very different. He seemed more mature to me, much nicer and much more caring. I was drawn to him and he could probably sense it. It wasn’t long after meeting that.
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