’ The maid of honour smiled lovingly at this weedy guy, went through Barry’s head, the bloody jerk! Carol had never smiled at Barry like that, even when they had gone out a couple of times, she was virtually Barry’s girlfriend, wasn’t she? This wasn’t the plan, the best man and the maid of honour, it was a bloody given, wasn’t it? Tonight was supposed to be the bloody night. The photographer’s script was just supposed to be ‘say cheese’, click and exit stage left, pretty damn smartly, if he knew what was good for him. ‘Are y-you two together than?’ Barry slurred, ‘I thought you were just playing hard to get, Carol.’ ‘Well,’ said the photographer, ‘I hope my fiancé was playing more than just ‘hard’ to get! Now that you are spoken for … Darling.’ ‘Er, yes, of course, Sweetie. I’m more like, ‘impossible’ to get … Dearest heart.’ ‘Well, I dunno, I haven’t seen you together all day, until now’ complained Barry, perhaps dawning on him that if he had known this was going to happen he could. Well, I could do that. But how to choose them, and on what basis? I’m thinking that I could start by setting a Rapture date of New Year’s Day, January 1st, midnight Greenwich Mean Time. In the meantime, I’m following your advice to replace worship of Jehovah and Jesus with a cult devoted to me, a Michaelite faith. It won’t last for long, but it won’t need to do so. Michaelism will have its own prophets and they will obviously be Raptured, as will all converts. I will also cast a much wider net among Christians, as well as taking more worthy atheists, agnostics, etc.“I also specifically want to claim certain individuals, in addition to the list that we agreed to here. Starting with Julia Roberts, Hoda Kotb, Zahi Hawass, Mike Rowe, Rob Lowe, James Woods, Ron Perlman, Olivia Williams, Morgan Freeman, Jensen Ackles, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Dana Perino, Emily Procter, Tamlyn Tomita, Regis Philbin, Joy Philbin, Anne Murray, Martin Sheen, Robert Duvall, Shelley Duvall, Grace Park, Scott.
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