I wasabsolutely stuck. I simplyhad to go through with this. I was sure thepunishment for doing anything less would be worse.Finally it was getting close to the time when the cheerleaders weresupposed to be on the gym floor, doing their routines. "Five moreminutes until the kissing booth closes," someone announced. The line ofguys to kiss didn't seem to end. I thought my lips and were tongue weregetting numb. How many guys had I kissed - a couple of hundred? I wastotally and absolutely humiliated!Finally they closed the booth and let me out. I got a tremendous roundof applause from all the guys - and the cheerleaders too, for being sucha good sport. And they had raised a lot of money for charity. I figuredthey would let me go now. But I was wrong."Time to start our cheers," someone said. And they grabbed me by thehand and let me down to the gym floor. Oh no - they expected me to beone of the cheerleaders for the game! Well, I was dressed for it, in thetiny cheerleader. My life was a playland of thoughtless bombastwith no consequences, that I thought would last.But the night that the Rutger's girls played Tennessee.Everyone suddenly came after me!Maybe my comments pushed the limits a bit;but tell me those home girls weren't skanky as shit!The girl's basketball coach wanted my head on a pike,Well what can you expect from a man-hating dyke?"Suspended? You're kidding! Now come on here, folks;You know how I am! Can't these coons take a joke?"Then when bigmouth Al Sharpton waded into the fray,I needed a drink in a serious way.I saw nothing amiss when approached in that bar;It's just one of my perks as a media star.She was young black and smart, she praised my keen wit,her journalism class all thought I was hot shit.She apologized for the overreactionof a certain hysterical liberal faction."Words can't hurt anyone," I said. She agreed,and said "Regulation of speech we don't need."She said, "Only a wimp would expect the Stateto act as their nanny and forbid.
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