You lied, Theo! Damn, why did I have to be so stupid? One last time to part in friendship, wasn't it? Where the fuck did you get that condom? Was in in your fucking wallet since high school?"Only murmur from his part."Broken, my ass! You knew I was off the pill. I thought you were being careful."The man's voice sounded pleading. But Lillian really got going."Oh stop whining! You're such a wimp! Why would I tell your wife, huh? To get you? I wouldn't take you if you were the last man on earth, that is if you were a man at all. I have found a real man, one who has a sense of responsibility. Let me tell you that he's a much better lover as well."Mystery man was angry now and his voice carried. "Is he? Well, are you going to tell him of the cuckoo's egg?" I'll be the best thing in his life. I'll be the best wife he ever dreamed of. I'll make sure he will never regret anything. I'll be his, Theo, while you can crawl back to your wife. And I warn you: one word to him or to anybody else and. We do have a secret vampire government called the Authority, mind you. But what I’m here for is both of you. Not your blood so much. Your bodies. We’re here to fuck you,” I announced, causing both Buffy and Xander to give me very strange looks.“You came all this way to have sex with us ... both of us?” Buffy expressed real surprise, while Xander shook his head in disbelief.“I think that they came here to rape us is what they mean. Gang-rape us, that is,” Xander now concluded.“Now, now chess club Chester, ‘rape’ is such a strong and unnecessary word, wouldn’t you say? Granted, we’re going to use each of you sexually until we’re done with you. But ‘rape,’ my friend, seriously? Cool your jets, X-man! We are going to have our way with you, yes, but it won’t be forcible or brutal or anything violent.“As for you, Miss Stake Squad Captain, relax, we’re sterile. Our kind of vampires don’t procreate at all. Well, not in the usual, physical sense. Doesn’t mean that we lack the plumbing. We.
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