It wasn't the first time he had these primal and instant urges, but this wasn't like the other times, this was more aggressive.But he couldn't succumb to the urges, he couldn't succumb to the instincts towards a woman's body.He, himself, an out and proud gay man.Michael closed his eyes, trying to remove and purify his inner filth. It wasn't working: the mind was picturing him and that woman, finally sober, in a naked, sexually hungry hug.Gross.The throat was aching, the brain as well: he needed more alcohol.What was going on inside him, was that unusual attraction, really a tragedy?He never was that gay man who hates women."I constantly fall in love with women," that's what Michael always used to say, "but sex is a different thing."Sexual attraction for the opposite gender wasn't for him, it's never been for him, yet something was getting messed up.Things do not just get messed up, though.All his life, he advocated for his voice to be heard, for the voice of other people like him to. Rachel told Tom that she planned on having these afternoon trysts with him at least once or maybe twice a week.She said to him, “At the investment club meetings I am not going to wear panties. I want you to see what you are going to be getting. Do you know what they call what I am going to be doing?”“No, what?”“Foreplay!”She had a way of winding him up to where Tom could hardly wait for the investment meeting which was in two days. Even though he could see right now what was between Rachel legs and had visited there quite often there still was something in the way Rachel said what she was going to do that made him want to see her doing it.He had prepared for the meeting by making copies of the spread sheets he kept on his investments and then redacted their values and the amount of dividends each investment paid. Tom thought a person’s wealth or the amount of investments was something that should remain confidential. Power point slides were prepared of these spread sheets.At the.
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