Most of the bottom-land bitches what wear fancy store-bought undies trap their men-folks by sticking they who-zit and they nasty heinies right under they noses until they pop the question. The women-folk on the mountain wait till a special day each year to track down and snare us a nice poke-stick to share in a soft bed when the moon is shining just right.The last few months, I been tending the hillside corn squeeze still for the family since Billy Bob is off shooting communists. We got lots more of the stuff now since he ain't around to do all his "sampling" of the moonshine. I go to do the sampling now but make sure I chew up a little cornbread to keep from getting bamboozled. I let that squirrelly Sampson McGee get me cross-eyed with some polluted punch at the last school dance and he got all rambunctious with my personal female goodies before I could land a good one on him. I guess that's about as close as I ever got to "taking it" with a fella. Thank goodness he was so tipsy all. Football was particularly hard to get into, but rugby and cricket were almost as difficult. I started out with, of all things, women’s hockey. As an eighteen year old, this wasn’t easy, but by the time I was twenty I had become known locally as a good photographer.Sadly, I wasn’t to stay in sport, I was too interested in photographing the people, rather than the action, and this meant I took photo’s that the sports editors couldn’t use. They could however, be used by any number of other people, including both gossip and fashion, as well as just what became known as ‘life’ shots. Photographs of people doing ordinary things. While this ‘carelessness’ on my part lost me one job, it did teach me a valuable lesson about separating what I wanted to photograph, from what I was being paid to photograph.Ultimately this meant I started doing local fashion shows, and similar, and soon catalogues. This was the ultimate in boredom. I hated doing these, but I had learned well, and they paid my.
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