"Harry, I don't want to take any chance of anybody hearing, you'd be out of here in a minute if anyone else knew about this. But don't ever—I mean ever—do this kind of thing again, or anything like it."All I could say was "huh?" or "what?" or something like that. Had no idea what she was talking about."Stop it, Harry," she goes on. "You're probably bored and frustrated by not finding anything yet, but this is out of bounds. You can't just fake things. I know you're mainly here for me, and I'm making allowances, but I thought you at least took it seriously. It really is serious, you know, learning about the past, you can't just make a joke of it like this." Joke?" I said, kind of stupidly, I guess.She shook her head real sharply. "Don't. Just don't. Now take that thing back wherever you got it and we'll forget the whole business, okay? But don't ever do anything like that again." And she just turned around and walked off, leaving me standing there in the bush with my mouth open and. I knew what that meant, but I avoided coming right out and saying I wasn't interested in him.I wanted to be friendly but I didn't want people to get too close; I had a secret to keep and used every opportunity to keep it concealed. My secret was simple; girls obsessed me. Not pubescent girls, but mostly women older than myself. I didn't lust after every one I saw, but certain types captured my eye and my heart. In Kansas, I'd been fond of two young teachers in their twenties — one was an assistant coach, the other taught Chemistry — and both had fueled my masturbatory fantasies.It was more emotional than physical. I didn't lust after a particular shape or size of breast or buttocks like the boys often do; I cared more for their attitude and personality than anything else. An aura of confidence and femininity helped, as did any personal success.I wondered what they smelled like, how it would feel to kiss them or touch them, and whether —miracle of miracles — they would return my.
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