“I read,” James said.His father shrugged it off.The next day they were in international waters and it dawned on James that the casino would be open. On the way to lunch, he commented on its bright lights and the lure of the sounds.“We’ll visit it after dinner,” his father said with a grin.“Sweet.”Dinner was blasé. He wasn’t particularly impressed, given his new expanded palate. For example, James could even eat fish now. He tried the trout and found it unremarkable.His mother, being a mother, commented after they had all ordered, “I thought you didn’t like fish. When did that change?”“I didn’t.”“But?”He shrugged, “I’m trying to improve myself. This fish isn’t really helping that cause.”His father rolled his eyes, his mother sighed, and they all ate, talked, and ate. Eating is what one does on a cruise.James got his waiter talking. The waiter was soon engaged in sporadic conversation with the whole family. James asked about the ship, his life, hobbies and everything that the waiter did. He wuz a crooked Confederate sympathizer politician. Now, I ask ya: how wrong kin a man be? "Howdy, Sheriff. What kin I do fer ya?" Ya kin come along quietly ta the jail. Ya're under arrest fer murder of some upstanding Confederate sojers what ya lyingly called Bushwhackers when ya hung 'em about six weeks ago. A true patriot cut 'em down an' give 'em a decent burial. Now ya're gonna pay fer yer crime. Hold out yer hands soz I kin cuff ya."I had been sitting on the veranda, enjoying a cigar afore supper, when this here idjut rode up. I wuz still wearin' my guns, since I don't never go nowhere without them with so many bandits, excuse me, patriotic guerrilla sojers, runnin' around the countryside and shootin' at people kinda fer the joy of it.I carefully snubbed out my cigar and looked the sheriff in the eye. "Ya are a damned fool ifen ya think that I'm goin' anywhere with ya when ya talk like that. Let me see the warrant fer my arrest afore ya go any further." I ain't got no warrant,.
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