I reassured him that Ihad made up my mind, I had given both sides a great deal of thought and Ifelt that becoming a woman was the right thing to do. I looked at it as aunique opportunity that many people never have, to live as a member ofboth sexes. I reminded him of my long standing feelings that I wanted tobe a girl from the time I was quite young and that while I realized itwould be difficult at times, I had a very good support group to help mealong the way. The next day I went to the hospital with butterflies in my stomach. I wasnervous about having major surgery, sad about losing my male parts, butexcited about the opportunity of getting to experience life as a female.Would it be so different? I wondered as I checked in. After the lastmeeting with the doctor, one of the surgical nurses reassured me that Iwould be ok. She told me she thought I was making the right choice, andthat she hoped I would be able to be happy as a woman. After all the pre-operation preparation, I was. She smiled knowingly, understanding now how AnneMarie had got to know Kristal, and realising the great change that must have taken place in AnneMarie’s life quite recently.“That’ll be fun. Where do these films come from?” she asked, thinking back to her one and only encounter with pornographic movies.“One or two of the girls seem to be able to get hold of them, I’m not too sure. Most I think are from America or Germany.”“Hmm, I saw one once and didn’t really like it.” said Lauren, anxious to have Kristal treat her as an equal. “It was OK to start with but got a bit nasty.”“You don’t need that. Look at you! You just have to walk down a street and you find yourself a boyfriend!” she said, laughing, reaching out to touch her shoulder. Lauren leaned her head on Kristal’s shoulder, curling up a little as she made herself comfortable.“Didn’t you feel petrified that you would never be loved, or would never find a husband?”“Sometimes, but it didn’t concern me that much. It’s difficult to.
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