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"Long pause."Mmmmmm back. How ya been?" Good. You?" Missing you. Good to see you again." You too. Good to be back again. Got you a present! Here, happy day that ends in Y." Goof!" What, birthday ends in Y!" Aw, that's perfect! You always know what to get me." You're easy to buy for."Pause."I have got to be the luckiest man alive." How do you figure?" Well, I have a wife whom I love madly, and who loves me madly back, and..." ... and?" And ... I'm most likely the only guy in the world who gets to do this with you." No most likely about it." Why is that anyway?" Well, you're the only guy in the world who loves me." There's a laugh! Ninety per cent of Edmonton's male population would give their right testicles, and their grandmothers, just to enter a lottery to be where I am right now. And twenty per cent of the females." Goof back!" You're right, that doesn't quite work does it? The females don't have testicles. They could give their right ovaries then." That isn't love." Maybe not,. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than in aPinto.19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind ... and the ones that mind don't matter.21. Life isn't tied with a bow ... but it's still a gift.This one is compliments of chuckOld men can still think fastAn elderly man in the Atherton Tablelands in Queensland had owned a large farm for several years.He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, a barbecue and some apple and peach trees.One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.He.
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