"Let's get to a VCR player. Some of these older tapes will lay the groundwork for what has followed in recent years. You look through these goodies and see what you think will play to the hometown folks," Dana told him."I assume these are not all of your home movies?" He looked at her expectantly."Big boy, these don't make a dent in what I have stashed with certain people. If the governor gets any funny ideas about holding us in protective custody, please inform him he will not be amused at what happens next." And just what will happen next, young lady?" Everybody turned to face the governor of California. His suit coat was missing and his face showed he needed to sleep. He continued, "I assume you have reserved the worst for last?" Well, Sir, to begin with, I have enough to virtually destroy both of the major political parties. I'll do this because this is one you're your good old boys cronyism is not going to sweep everything under the rug and out of sight. I am willing to ruin as. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly, he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding -- a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back." Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.GeorgiaThe owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia, and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"The secretary thought a moment, and then replied,.
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