His greatest fear was the uncertainty of his family's andfriends reaction if they discovered his secret. Of his friendsthere was no doubt. The slightest effeminate trait in his peergroup was ostracized with chants of "sissy, lacy-pants, femme,faggot, homo, pussy" and other words too numerous to mention.Not to forget the drubbing a boy might likely get from hisfriends for showing up at the park in too new gym shoes, shirtor pants, or anything other that jeans or shorts. God forbid adress shirt and tie on a week-day. Or a pair of shined loafersand khakis with a clean pullover shirt.He was less sure of his mom's and Jane's reaction. His parentshad divorced many years earlier, so he was relieved that as heimagined, there'd be no father to bully him and disappoint. Hewas sure there wasn't a father alive who'd rather see his boy ina dress and sandals with bows in his hair.As for Jane, at her age, he guessed from her dating andconversations that she wanted masculine images from all men. I'd met Christabelle Evans at some occasion or other. While not the mature sensation that was Hannah, Christabelle was a pretty enough girl, somewhat sweet and, rumour had it, inordinately sexually insatiable. Her little-girl-lost glances a mere facade, a Siren's call for men to jump ship and throw their lives away.But there was so much hurt in Hannah's voice that I thought it best to move on from the subject of her ex-husband and his teenage femme fatale. I steered the conversation back to the matter at hand.Which was: she wanted to watch. It was the only reason she was here, she reaffirmed. Call me arrogant, or maybe just senselessly optimistic, but I already considered a threesome a done deal. Jess, ever the pragmatist, was not so sure. She had warned me not to over-inflate my optimism, said if I did, it could explode in my face.I asked Hannah the origin of her need to be present at a couple's lovemaking. She said she used to watch couple-porn with hubby Trevor, to get them in.
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