Was it daytime? Or was it night? I had lost track hours and hours and hours ago. For moments I sat there as my face was soaked. I no longer felt the cold of it, only a blessed numbness. I turned my face slowly away and opened my eyes. Around the room lay remnants of my life, things that had meant something to me once, things that lay as dead and lifeless as I felt. My flute lay on the floor, sheet music scattered all around. The memories haunted me. Images of my playing, my total surrender to the power of the notes and the melody brought a fresh rush of tears to my eyes. I had spent many years practicing and perfecting the talent of musician. There was a freedom of expression that had caught me and pulled me in. So many thoughts and feelings were spelled out in little black dots with lines and squiggles. Sad that I was going to let it all disappear into nothingness. My books lay in the opposite corner, near the shattered glass of the wine bottle. Dozens of stacks of books…novels,. ’ There was no give in her at all. I’d arrived in Purgatory. We weren’t aware of the events unfolding back at the university at almost exactly this same time. I wish I had been, though I have no idea what I would have done. We went over to the Wrights and found his sisters and mother there. His brother was out with his latest girlfriend. To say it was unpleasant is an understatement. I again related what I had done and how the ramifications were now coming home to roost. After I finished talking, Mom hugged the three women and we returned home. We were all bawling, but I was ignored. The two girls, who I had grown up with looked at me with absolute disgust on their face. My Dad spoke to me a couple of days later, the first time since I’d returned from college. ‘Erica, if you weren’t my daughter, I’d disown you. As it is, you are my daughter, and I and your mother do love you. We hate what you have done to our two families, but you are our daughter and we’ll support you within reason..
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