We continued our journey and Jackie climbed onto her seat and kneeling, turned around to face Merril while they were talking.By now the alcohol had taken hold of both girls and they were acting in that slightly drunk way that affects us all from time to time. As we continued on our way, the darkness came down and Merril, who was sitting directly behind me became more drowsey. We turned a sharp bend causing Jackie to lose her balance.She was still kneeling and facing the wrong way, and instinctively her arm shot out into my lap, and onto my groin area. I had until that moment not realised that my penis had swollen into a semi erection, and now my embarrassment was complete with Jackie totally aware of my condition."Oops. sorry, Steve" she said. "I lost my balance"I glanced in the rear view mirror and saw that my wife was leaning back with her eyes closed, and had not noticed what had just happened."Naughty you" I said, and my hand slid up Jackie's bare leg under her shorts and onto the. I recalled some of the fantasies Karen and I had shared with each other and cringed at some of the details that I recalled. I thought back to the discussions we'd had together about her past – lies? Now that I knew what to look for, I started to remember little signs and hints that Karen had dropped for me the last couple of years she was alive.My mind became a jumble of thoughts about Karen and our time together: our dating, discussions, travels, interests, fantasies, her history, and our lovemaking. I walked back to the beach and started walking aimlessly north to the commercial district. Part way there, I turned around. With every step, I tried to understand what Karen actually thought about me and why she'd hidden these key facets of her life from me.Along my walk, I also felt guilty again: guilt for becoming intimate with Lauren, and even falling in love with her; guilt for my participation in the open and loving style of the Circle at Bob's in Camp Forge; and guilt for my time.
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