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What is he up to? Why doesn't he say anything? Oh, shit. Shit. Shit, no. I thought I could hear him undoing his fly. I heard a zipper, I did, and it wasn't mine. So it must be his fly. What's he going to do, rape me like this? I don't want to know. I need to know. I can hear him rustling some more so I'm sure he's taking the rest of his clothes off now. Here I am, hanging exposed and vulnerable and helpless like a side of beef and he's getting naked. I'm sure he thinks it's a joke. I'm a joke for his penis to enjoy.Page 39. He must be undressed now. At least I think he is. What else can it be? He's standing right in front of me, but I can't see his face. I can see his bare legs, so I must be right. And now he's gone. Something isn't right at all. I can feel it. My spine is shivering and I can smell it. What's going on? I can hear him at. This unlettered butcher wanted to "treat me"? No thanks!I turned to the doctor and told him, "I no longer require your services. My wives will treat me." With an upset look he left, protesting all the way as he was leaving. I had Elizabeth get a bottle of whiskey and had Louise clean the wound made by the gun and wrap my head.As I lay there with my head throbbing and my vision blurred, I tried to ask what had happened during the robbery and where the robbers were. Elizabeth looked me in the eye and told me, "Don't you remember? Before they managed to get you down, you killed all three with your hands!" After hearing this amazing statement I blacked out.September 18, 1847When I next awoke it was early morning and the chief clerk, Mr. Grahame, was there. He was apologetic telling me that the men who had attempted to rob me were known to one of his clerks who may have told them about my spending spree. He gave me a strange look and told me, "We had heard that you were a dangerous man in.
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