“Hi, Mike!”“Hi! How are you doing?”“Good. You?”“OK,” I replied. “Ready for Monday?”“Yes! Mom and I were hoping you’d come to dinner one night in the next few weeks.”“I’d like that,” I said.She rang up my purchase and put everything into brown paper grocery bags. After paying, Angie and I took the bags and headed back towards the dorm.“That one seems to have worked out OK,” Angie said when we were about a block away.“Only because we both managed to acknowledge our mistakes.”“Do you think she wants to get back together?”“I don’t know, and that’s just about the furthest thing from my mind right now.”“What are you doing tonight?”“I have a date with Katy, but I’ll be back in time for our evening prayers.”When we arrived back at the dorm, Angie helped me put everything away, and then I went to take a shower. After the shower, I dressed and headed down to my car for the drive to Circleville. Katy and I had a nice evening together, and when I returned to McKinley, Angie and I did our evening. Perhaps even more so. On the occasion that the pathway opened up to a small cavernous space, I took great delight in fluttering them slowly, the movement physically pleasing in some small way. That, and the times when the fungi prodded me into touching myself to fantasies of either Isshu or Emma, were the only times when the dark mantle of despair wasn’t hovering about my brow like a tiara.And so, I wandered, aware that the way led deeper, sometimes alerted by a slight slope, sometimes by a natural stair that forced me to pick my way carefully over tumbled blocks of stone, leaving my knees and hands scraped and raw and me fighting for breath, dizzy and weak with exertion until finally, I could go no further.Crying silently, the tears trickling down the filthy flesh of my sunken cheeks, I knelt at the precipice of a particularly steep stair and simply abandoned all hope. Stubborn though I had been, I’d always known the truth; that I would die, perhaps not forgotten, but lost and.
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