And as if everything else wasn't enough, I could've sworn the waistband ofmy jeans was starting to feel a little tight.I had just turned the corner and was in sight of the restrooms when ithappened. I wasn't watching where I was going, and crashed into a youngwoman in her mid-twenties who was leaving a department store with herpurchases.She had time for a startled look before I plowed into her, sending both ofus to the ground. I was about to mumble an apology and make a run for itwhen I felt it. Lying on top of her, under the fading pain, I felt my bellybegin to swell.Apparently I wasn't the only one to notice it either, as the woman's lookof anger turned to surprise and astonishment as my growing belly pressedinto hers.Forgoing the apology, I scrambled off of her and ducked inside the men'srestroom. What the hell was happening to me?Quickly checking the stalls to make sure that no one else was in there withme, I went back over to the mirror and pulled my shirt out of the waistbandof. The other one backed into JW. He was fumbling with the snap on his holster. That resulted in one of JW’s practiced moves.“Don’t kill him, JW.” I said.“Spoilsport!” JW said, “Can I hurt him?”“No.”“Just a little?”“No,” I turned to the dry officer, “Look you. You are guilty of piracy ... boarding without permission.“But ... but ... but ... we’re officers in the United States Navy.”“That’s a New Zealand flag we’re flying. Give me one good reason we don’t hang you by the neck until dead.”Stymied.The enlisted crew, finished tying us up, sent a Chief Petty Officer to the gangway. He proved ... once again ... that enlisted can pee a round hole in snow, while officers write their whole names.“Permission to board,” He saluted the NZ flag and me.“Come aboard, Chief.” I said, “Got any idea what’s going on?”“Speak privately, ma’am?”I motioned at the patio doors, “Precede me Chief.”“And disrespect a lady,” he said, “Never.”I went first ... grinning. I shut the patio doors and locked them. I made a.
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