The same grass where a gay red and white striped pavilion had once stood, and nearly exactly where an old lover had met an untimely and terrible fate, changing everything in the lads' lives."I know." Rowan sadly replied. "After the battle, after I had slain the boarman wizard and led the advance of the Everdun heavy infantry into the center of the battlefield to crush the horde, all four Dukes were kneeling before me on that bloody miserably cold and wet field of slaughter, offering me their homage ... to become their chosen king. I had done what generations of feuding lords had not; bring the entire Southern Duchies together for a single great cause, and under the sword of a single man. The crown was there, offered to me for my taking ... and I said 'No'. Three times. The Foole couldn't believe it and he spent the next week trying to talk me into accepting it, and he nearly succeeded, but Gwenda told me that I'd be miserable within a year, and I'd start to lop off annoying noble. "You first." This..." he held out his wedding ring, and I saw then that he wasn'twearing it. "We're going to have to get it annulled. Non-consummation, I reckon." What?" I asked, feeling worse than ever."I felt sick for a moment there during the wedding, then just weird andwrong; I couldn't quite figure out why at first. And when I went tothe restroom and looked at myself... Well. You can see I still lookthe same with clothes on, but... I'm not a man anymore, not where itcounts."He was blushing, and talking quiet so no one would hear us, and it tookme a while to get the story, but basically: he had a vagina. And sodid Al and the groomsmen and Tim... their penis and testicles wereclean gone, and apparently, though they weren't quite sure, theirprostate as well."Tell me something," I said, "do you have a clitoris?"He blushed brighter than ever. "I, um, I'm not sure. I didn't reallylook that close. It's just too new and weird."(I'm abridging this of all the interruptions. Every.
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